The Case Against Finding Your Twin Flame | 6 Red Flags To Look Out For - Cosmic Updates

The Case Against Finding Your Twin Flame | 6 Red Flags To Look Out For

Have you ever met someone you thought was your Twin Flame, but it turned out to be a disaster?

We all dream of meeting our beloved. 

What could be more perfect than finding the love of your life? 

There are a lot of ideas out there about what true love looks like, but many of them aren’t rooted in a healthy reality.  

A “Twin Flame” connection can sometimes feel like the answer to your prayers.

Suddenly it can feel like this person will take away all of your suffering.

But more often than not, what starts out feeling like destiny, can end up causing pain and confusion.

Perhaps you have found yourself feeling more lonely or needy than usual?

If so, then maybe you’ve started searching for your Twin Flame.

  • Have you listened to someone you consider a spiritual authority who has convinced you your Twin Flame exists?


  • Maybe you’ve been pursuing a relationship after doing your own research and deciding this person is ‘the one’?


  • Has someone led you to believe in their cosmic importance to your growth?


Don’t worry. You’re not alone.

The Twin Flame phenomenon is deeply seductive.

So called “Twin Flame” connections usually occur at the most vulnerable times of our lives. Sometimes we project our romantic ideals onto another person, especially when experiencing our first spiritual awakening.

If you’ve been raised to believe in the fairytale of happily ever after, imagining another person is your destined other half can feel like a magic pill for your pain.

However, it’s possible to become so enamored with the intensity of a connection that you fall blind to abusive behavior.

If you think you might be involved in a ‘Twin Flame’ relationship and want to gain some clarity, here are 6 red flags to look out for:

#1 | Feeling like you’ve known each other for lifetimes

Have you ever met someone who felt instantly familiar?

Feeling like you know someone well after a few hours of meeting can be dangerously intoxicating. You can certainly have resonance with another person, but it’s important to remember there are no shortcuts to really getting to know someone. It takes time.

Familiar isn’t always good. Deep familiarity can mean your wounds are being reflected. If you have any unresolved issues from childhood, you might find yourself attracted to the same qualities in a partner that match your early caregivers. It’s important to take your time and make sure you’re not setting yourself up to revisit toxic dynamics from the past.

#2 | Moving really fast

Moving in right away, spending too much time together, and going into deep intimacy without taking time to get to know each other can mean you’re ignoring stop signs.

Allowing breathing room at the start of any new connection creates space for the other person to show that they are trustworthy. 

This space is usually non-existent in a ‘Twin Flame’ connection, and you can often be sucked into another person’s vortex quickly, without taking enough time to understand who they really are.

#3 | Feeling like this person ‘completes’ us

Thinking of a Twin Flame as your other ‘half’ can be problematic. Do you believe you’re incomplete on your own? 

The truth is, no one can complete you. Although it seems romantic to find your “missing piece”, it’s important to remember no one but yourself holds the key to your fulfillment.

If you feel unworthy of love, it could be tempting to give your power away to someone else. But before you invite another person in to your heart, never forget that you are already whole.

#4 | Accepting bad behavior

A lot of believers in Twin Flames often highlight the challenging and tumultuous scenarios crop up for ‘Twins’. Sadly many people think they are with the person they are destined to be with, when in fact they are dealing with an abusive situation.

Relationships will naturally bring things to the surface, but if someone is constantly triggering you, pay attention to what it is costing your wellbeing.

Try not to make excuses for actions that hurt you, or convince yourself that you deserve to endure suffering. Check in and make sure you’re not mistaking excitement and intensity for bad behavior.

#5 | Believing invisible forces are keeping you apart

The Universe is powerful, but no single person or event is big enough to pull apart two people who are meant to help each other grow. If someone is supposed to be in your life, they will simply be in it. 

Attempting to work against the natural flow of the Universe only leads to one destination — complete burnout.

Take some time to check in with your intuition. Are you trusting in the flow and beauty of life, or are you trying to make it match a picture you have for how it ‘should’ be?

#6 | Telling yourself you’re “teaching” each other

Do you feel like you’re learning the same thing over and over again, but not making any progress?

If you’ve found yourself under the spell of being the other person’s teacher or savior, it may be time to take a step back. A relationship with a true soul friend or lover will be rooted in freedom. 

Do you feel like you’re continually having to ‘work things out’ with this person? If so, you might be stuck on a hamster wheel instead of of making real progress.

Are you ready to completely transform your beliefs about ‘Twin Flames’? Ask yourself these questions:

  • What wounds has a “Twin Flame” connection brought up that you may have been avoiding addressing?

  • Do you believe relationships have to be difficult and painful to be worth it? If so, how might you change this belief?

  • How can you begin to get your needs met in a way that feels safe and supportive?


  • Are you afraid of losing people if you say “no” to them? 


  • Is there a balanced give and take in your relationships?

Remember, powerful, soulful unions are possible, but it’s important to first recognize what they are not.

Rather than pining for the one you believe you’ve lost, or continuing to wrestle with a connection you know is ultimately draining you, focus on reinforcing your boundaries and expressing your needs. 

By creating a variety of supportive connections in your life that aren’t merely just romantic, the Twin Flame concept will soon release its grip.

The idea of a Twin Flame can create a cycle of hope and regret.

Hope brings us into the future, and is something we all need at times.

But regret pulls us back to the past.

Balance between the two can be found in gently moving your attention to your most important relationship; the one you have with yourself. 

After all, you are the person who’s always going to be around, so why not take beautiful care of yourself?

And the more you find wholeness within, the more you will see it reflected around you… in your life and relationships.

You are deeply worthy of love and fulfillment. 

Keep up the good work!

With love & courage,

Natalie Catherine

P.S. What have you learned from this type of relationship? If you have found yourself caught up in illusions, how have you managed to work through them? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

P.P.S. If you’d like some help in reconnecting to your personal power when it comes to your relationships, you can schedule a private reading with me here.

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    Michael Howell
    Posted at 22:04h, 22 May Reply

    I’ve found my twin flame 13 yrs. ago and didn’t realize it until 2 years ago when I smelled his cologne out of nowhere. We reconnected and talk but are in different states and I’m currently married to someone I don’t feel a strong connection to. I never thought I would have the type of connection and love for an older man (me being 42 & him 60 and both of us are men) but he is the only guy that I something inside wants the contact which I don’t want from my husband. If this makes sense

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:39h, 23 May Reply

      Hi Michael, thank you for sharing. I hope re-reading the article will help you find more neutrality with some of the things you’ve mentioned, and allow you to bring your focus back to yourself. That’s where true healing can be found. Sending you love.

  • Avatar
    Theresa Flannery
    Posted at 19:29h, 22 May Reply

    I was told my husband and I are twin flames , but we are in the middle of a divorce I do not want? How can we talk snd resolve our problems before we lose one another

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:37h, 23 May Reply

      Hi Theresa, I’m sorry to hear you’re in the middle of a divorce. Always seek the support you feel you need (e.g. from a marriage therapist or similar), but most importantly, remember to trust yourself.

  • Avatar
    Lanie Cubay
    Posted at 04:50h, 21 May Reply

    This is true, I experience this. I’m still finding my twin flame till now…thank you so much for sharing 😘

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 12:12h, 22 May Reply

      I’m really glad this resonated for you Lanie, and that you’re moving on from the search – sending you love as you continue on your journey.

  • Avatar
    Mutele Shonisani
    Posted at 22:16h, 20 May Reply

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  • Avatar
    Posted at 17:58h, 20 May Reply

    Twin Flames; the concept that appeared in my universe at the darkest moment, when I could no longer explain why this man was continuing to pursue me when he wasn’t at liberty to. There are no coincidences, right? this is it! this is why! we are one, being a 6 life path; born to nurture I must stay with him, I must wait, I must be available for him even when I am not; because if I am not I’ll ruin destiny! Twin Flames. Oh, so I thought. What I’ve learned is; when someone is supposed to be in your life they simply will; no matter what happened, no what who you meet or how many children you, where you move; it’s all details the universe wouldn’t keep something from you that is meant to be yours. this article reinforced that! it popped into my email at the time that I needed the most reassurance, Thank you, Natalie. God didn’t put me here to suffer, and I surely didn’t agree to this journey if it wasn’t going to be fun. Do Twin Flames exist? The Jury is still out on that one, but honestly, I could care less. I am just enjoying the ride

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 12:14h, 22 May Reply

      I’m so happy to hear this was timely for you Tee. Thank for your sharing your experience. As you wisely put it, the Universe will never keep something from you that’s meant to be yours 🙂

  • Avatar
    Ellen Myers
    Posted at 10:29h, 20 May Reply

    This is really good. I think it is true. This kind of thing is especially potent when one is involved with a personality that is narcissistic in nature, which is not their fault, but getting caught up in a twin flame belief system is rough here. It is difficult for all. It’s also a silly way to get involved with someone and as to why as there are many levels. I like Tina Turner’s view, ” What you see is what you get.”

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 12:10h, 22 May Reply

      Hi Ellen, thank you for commenting. I’d never heard that quote from Tina before so thank you for sharing; she is certainly a wise woman isn’t she, especially when it comes to difficult relationships!

  • Avatar
    Posted at 07:59h, 20 May Reply

    Ne morem si kaj, da ne bi odgovorila na ta prispevek, saj se gre za dojemanje svojega lastnega Jaza.
    Ali ne vsi v življenju nekaj iščemo?
    Našega dvojčka?
    To se v določenih primerih pokaže iznenada, ko izbruhne dvojni plamen.
    Kdor to preizkusi na lastni koži, se lahko iztoveti z modrostjo svojega lastnega ega, ki mu dovoljuje vpogled v globino svoje duše.
    To je kot prva ljubezen, ki vsakemu da pečat neizprosne usode večne ljubezni, ali zmedo, katera mu je dodelila preizkus lastne resničnosti.
    Ne glede na pripadnost, kulturo, in, ne nazadnje na starost, – je to preizkus znanja, katero določi zavest o pristnosti njegove duše, in srca.
    Bog nas je ustvaril z vsemi čuti, in čustvi, katera nosijo svojo etiketo trajnosti, in uporabnosti.
    Vsako zloraba vodi v razpad, ne glede na vzdržljivost lastnega plamena, ki kljubuje vsem nemogočim silam resnice, in povezovanja v duhu medsebojne harmonije.
    Priznam, nisem popolna, – daleč od tega, kajti, nihče ni popoln, tudi tisti, ki misli, da je..
    Samo lastne izkušnje izoblikujejo to, kar smo.
    Ne gre tu za prepričanje, ampak za naravni preboj, ki raste kot korenina, ko sili na površje.
    Nekdo jo neguje, in občuduje, nekdo jo potepta.— Tisto kar je vmes, je zares.
    Moram priznati, da sem se v zadnji dekadi življenja največ naučila.
    Kar mi ni dala mladost, mi je dala starost.
    Ne obžalujem, kajti to je moja popotnica za drugo življenje, in kar vedno trdim, – upanje vedno ostane.
    Kolo sreče’
    Kaj mi sledi?
    Se trudim dobiti svoj prostor, kjer ni nobenih iluzij, za katere bi nekoč dala vse zaklade tega sveta.
    Kljub moji starosti, mi je zmanjkalo modrosti.
    Ali je bil res ta dvojni plamen prižgan po božji volji, ali samo kot čarobna tabletka proti bolečini, bo čas pokazal.
    To naj sam Bog presodi.
    Z vsem spoštovanjem

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 12:22h, 22 May Reply

      Hvala, ker si delila svoje izkušnje Marija.
      Vesel sem, da se prebijate skozi iluzije. To je močan kraj. Pošiljanje ljubezni.

  • Avatar
    MM Castillo
    Posted at 03:01h, 20 May Reply

    I met my him when I was not looking. It was in 2003. Our names even had the same letters. Due to religious differences, I decided not to continue. He asked me to marry him but since I couldn’t I left. I thought leaving the country where we met would make us forget each other. It didn’t. I applied for a job which brought me to the same country where he lives. The force is so strong. It has been 18yrs since we met and we feel exactly the same but we’ve accepted the fact that we cannot be together in this lifetime. In those 18yrs, we both traveled and have always kept in touch.
    One time he was in Switzerland and met someone from my country. He just asked this stranger to bring the chocolates he wanted to give me. I was touched. After so many years, he still thinks about me the way he used to. I’ve never met anyone as loving and thoughtful as him. We managed to remain friends. I consider him as my bestfriend.
    In the beginning of our connection, I’ve always told him maybe not in this lifetime. Maybe in the next lifetime, we can be together. I tried to cut the connection but it was just not easy. The longest time we didn’t speak was for 9 months. The very first time we spoke after 9 month, we talked for 6hrs via skype. We missed each other so much and after that, we agreed not to do that again. We just accepted our situation. We knew we didn’t have to be together in the same place because we are in each other.
    We’ve seen each other almost every year since 2003 through 2017.
    We do not know when we will see each other again but we know we always have each other.

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:40h, 20 May Reply

      Hi MM, thank you for taking the time to share your story. This sounds like more of a Soulmate connection – what a beautiful experience for the two of you to have had.

  • Avatar
    Dharmaprakash Deokota
    Posted at 23:51h, 19 May Reply

    Catherine’s a married man 76 having 7 grand children.Both we husband wife fine.She 71. No more to do now.I justwant a good going only.

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:41h, 20 May Reply

      I’m glad to hear life turned out well for you both Dharmaprakash, and that you found that peace.

  • Avatar
    Viviane Paolini
    Posted at 22:40h, 19 May Reply

    If this is a TF, I am sorry it is not. My ex husband was like that, I finally left it took 2 years to get over the misery of being married to a toxic person.
    There is not TF’s, If we are ment to get together so be it, otherwise don’t even approach that person. Think first and know better.
    Thank you for clearing this problem.

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:43h, 20 May Reply

      Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and story Viviane. It sounds like your experience, although difficult, has brought you much wisdom.

  • Avatar
    Posted at 22:35h, 19 May Reply

    Yes but it ended horribly, after him I meet others but feel as if my joy is gone based on how bad things ended.

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:46h, 20 May Reply

      Thank you for sharing Mani – you’re not alone in this experience. Sending you love and healing as you find your way back to the joy within you again.

  • Avatar
    Shelly Long
    Posted at 22:28h, 19 May Reply

    Intriguing topic… I don’t believe I’ve found mine. Have I always felt this way, no. After engaging in most of my relationships, surely my answer was different… I’m the queen of believing ‘HE”S THE ONE!”. It’s taken many months of healing and not allowing loneliness to take the wheel. Sometimes we convince ourselves we need someone, when in actuality, it’s a temporary void they fill.

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:48h, 20 May Reply

      Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts Shelly. It warms my heart to hear how engaged you are in your healing process. Sending love.

  • Avatar
    Richard Aiden Bach
    Posted at 21:09h, 19 May Reply

    Found my Twin Flame after years of searching. All the synchronicities were there and the supernatural connection was immediately recognized. After a year of the most exhausting emotional coaster ride of our lifetime, I made the decision to walk away, in order to preserve my sanity ( and his ! ). We were drawn to each other like two moths to a flame, resulting in the most delusional and damaging experience of my life. We did not grow together, rather only brought out the absolute worst in each other.
    I feel him every day. He is still very much a part of my spiritual core, however, I came to realize we were not meant to be together in this Divine timeline. I want him to know how very grateful I am for having met finally, yet very saddened at the same time for not having brought out the best in each other.
    Being patient and forgiving, I look forward to our future encounter on the Divine timeline.

    • Avatar
      Natalie Catherine
      Posted at 08:51h, 20 May Reply

      Thank you for sharing your journey Richard – patience and forgiveness are such beautiful gifts. Despite the rollercoaster I’m so glad the experience also brought you this grace.

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