16 Jun 7 Ways You Give Away Your Personal Power & How To Stop
Do you ever feel like you’re bending over backwards for others?
Have you ever felt undervalued in your relationships?
Do you often find yourself saying “Yes” to things when you really want to say “No”?
Then you might be giving away your power.
There’s nothing more noble than wanting to help others.
If you’re a loving, empathic person, you might naturally become a caretaker in every situation.
Maybe you enjoy being the “go-to” person when someone else has a problem. But have you considered how doing this might be negatively affecting you?
If you want to feel more valued…
And if deep down you’d like to have more time for the things you really want to do…
Then getting in touch with your personal power can help!
When you’re able to stand in your power, you’re deeply in touch with who you are and what truly matters to you.
Maybe you’re longing to speak from your heart and honor your true feelings…
But then a feeling of guilt stops you from asking for what you need.
If so, understanding how you give your power away can help you let go of that guilt and start honoring and trusting yourself.
Let’s explore the 7 ways you might be giving up your power, and how you can start to make changes for the better.
# 1 People-Pleasing
Do you feel like you have to make sure everyone else is okay, but leave yourself at the bottom of the list?
You might be inclined to please others because deep down you’re afraid of disappointing them.
Do you worry about what other people might think if you made your own decisions?
These fears can leave you feeling unworthy of what you truly desire.
And you deserve to have the things you really want!
Bring gentle curiosity to why you don’t feel worthy of doing nice things, just for yourself.
And then practice doing more of the things you enjoy!
Buy yourself some flowers.
Book that dance class.
Schedule a massage.
Whilst it’s loving to care for others, if you’re never giving back to yourself, you might end up living a life that other people have decided for you. If you don’t prioritize yourself, not only will you feel less happy, but it could drain you physically and emotionally as well.
# 2 Being Passive Aggressive
Do you feel you have a lot to say but not many people can relate to you?
Have you ever felt upset about not being truly heard?
Sometimes it’s easy to slip into being passive aggressive or ‘short’ with others, without even realizing it.
This might be because you’ve been feeling powerless for quite some time.
If you’ve secretly been feeling unappreciated, it might be time to ask yourself why you haven’t spoken up.
Take some time to check in with yourself and see if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your responsibilities.
Who might you be able to ask for support from?
If you don’t ask, you’ll never allow yourself to enjoy the beauty of receiving! 🙂
And if you’re not open to receiving, it’s easy to feel disappointed in your relationships.
It’s safe to ask for help.
You can still be a giving person.
And when you’re feeling supported you’ll be able to give back without letting resentment build up.
# 3 Forgetting To Breathe
As simple as it sounds, taking a deep breath before responding to anything in life can be a game changer.
How often do you react to a request without taking a breath, or a moment to think?
Many people just react to what life throws at them.
But if you can learn to respond instead, it can help you feel more in control.
Breathing is one of the most effective ways to do this.
When you feel connected to your breath, you feel connected to your body.
And your body and breath are where your power is.
Let’s say something triggered you at work.
Maybe your colleague took credit for the report you wrote.
Now you’re a little hurt, and maybe kind of angry.
And when you’re triggered this way, you’ve usually stopped breathing too.
But these are the moments when you need your breath the most.
Taking a breath will stop you from over reacting.
How about exploring breath work practices that might work for you? This way you can use them in moments of stress.
When you remember to breathe, you’ll be able to stay in your power.
# 4 Apologizing Too Much
It’s funny how often the word sorry is used even when it’s not needed!
Have you ever found yourself apologizing when something isn’t your fault?
This can be a way to give up your power without even noticing.
So become curious about why you apologize.
Perhaps you have experienced a relationship where the other person blamed you for their problems?
You might be a conscientious person, but not everything that happens is your responsibility.
See how it feels to remove the word “sorry” from your vocabulary.
So instead of saying “I’m sorry I’m late”…
You might say, “Thank you for your patience. There was a lot of traffic today”.
You might be surprised at how quickly you’re feeling more empowered when you make this simple shift!
# 5 Avoiding Your Anger
Do you find that you tend to avoid confrontation?
Maybe at some point in your life, you were taught that anger is unacceptable.
If so, you might have learned to quietly tuck your anger away.
How would you feel if I told you your anger is actually where your power is?
So, if it gets suppressed, you will feel powerless.
The energy of anger shows you where your boundaries have been crossed!
Anger can help you discern what feels good, what doesn’t, and where there are important changes to be made, putting you right back in your power.
So it’s really kind to yourself to learn how to release anger in a healthy way.
You can channel your anger via things like creative writing, painting, dancing, or intense physical exercise.
These are all useful ways to move anger through your body, without it exploding out. This way you’ll be able to talk about your needs with others without starting a fight or feeling out of control.
# 6 Listening To Ego Over Intuition
Sometimes it’s easy to confuse true inner power with the ego trying to keep you safe.
If you’re feeling unconfident, and you want to feel more powerful, you might find yourself being drawn to shiny objects.
Maybe you’ve been following self-help gurus online…
Or have been drawn to over-achievers…
Or anything that you feel might boost your self worth.
It’s easy to give your power away by listening to others instead of trusting yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with building yourself up by being inspired by other people.
But trying to bolster your self-esteem too quickly might mean you haven’t first developed the inner resources to cope with life’s challenges.
If you can dedicate some time to practicing things like self-compassion instead, you’ll start to develop a quieter inner strength.
See if you can notice the difference between your ego leading you astray, and your intuition guiding you forward.
A regular meditation practice can really help with this!
Tapping into your own energy, and listening to your true inner voice, will help you make wiser decisions.
# 7 Having Unclear Boundaries
It can be difficult to thrive and feel powerful without healthy boundaries.
Do you want to feel nourished, ready to interact with the world, and able to help others?
It’s only really possible to do this by knowing where you end, and another person begins.
You might give your energy and power away by staying open and available to everyone.
But it’s more than okay to cancel a date in the diary, turn off your phone, or ask for space in your relationships.
When you’re practicing good boundaries with others, you’ll also know when to walk away without reacting.
This will keep you in a more powerful place as you go about your days.
The key to living in your personal power, is to keep listening to, honoring, and trusting what feels true for you.
The more you get to know yourself, the more confident you will become at listening to your inner voice.
And that is where your true personal power resides.
Stay strong and be true to yourself!
With love & courage,
P.S. Have you wrestled with feelings of powerlessness? How did you overcome them? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
P.P.S. If you’d like to explore what might be blocking you from your power right now, you can schedule an energy reading with me here.
MaargrrtPosted at 13:28h, 18 June
Now i. Am inn a limbo moos and sad myy lovely husband just passd and. We. Whee. So totgearher ,,, so i. Dont noow anything at the moment ,,,,
Natalie CatherinePosted at 11:54h, 21 June
I’m so sorry for your loss. Trusting you have a loving support system at this difficult time.
Sending you warmth and healing.
Ravi kariaPosted at 08:53h, 18 June
thank you so much for ur advise. really help me a lot . god bless you🙂
– ravi karia
Natalie CatherinePosted at 11:55h, 21 June
I’m so glad to hear this article was helpful for you Ravi. Enjoy your week.
Lanie CubayPosted at 05:05h, 18 June
Natalie… Thank you so much… You inspired me, and I learn a lot it can help me. Keep safe 😘… God bless ♥️
Natalie CatherinePosted at 11:56h, 21 June
Lanie, it warms my heart to hear that these words helped you. Thank you for taking the time to comment. x
Isabel MulvihillPosted at 08:43h, 17 June
Recently I made a written response of praise and and my humbleness and appreciation of the six ladies that I write with. Honesty and vulnerability is encouraged in the group. Two ladies claimed I triggered them with my post.I wasnt expecting their response and automatically apologized to them. I was mortified by their response and felt responsible for their response.
In private I read and re-read what I had posted to uncover and understand how I triggered them . I couldn’t find the reason in my write. Now I was bothered and the incident haunted me.. It wasn’t sitting right with me. I posted word for word on a private fb group of social workers and therapists looking for the answer and feed back. Out of 80 responses two felt triggered and gave me an explanation. The other 78 responses felt that the ladies responses wrote out of context and uncalled for. What I learned from this exercise was how quickly I take on the responsibility for another’s reaction that is not mine to own. Why? Because I dont like to hurt others, I always want to fix the hurt of others and absorb their pain so they don’t have to feel it. Now I am very acutely aware of this of myself I do take a breath before I jump in to fix a situation and ask myself is it mine to own? How dare I deprive someone of the catalyst for growth.
Natalie CatherinePosted at 11:59h, 21 June
What beautiful insights Isabel – thank you so much for taking the time to share this experience.
So many of us take on the responsibility of other people’s feelings since it can often be so conditioned within us.
To know you can now take a step back and take a breath is such great awareness and an incredible gift to yourself!
Lorena RamosPosted at 23:56h, 16 June
Thank you so much for your help and advice it really helps me to look into myself in a deeper level and understand what I’m doing through and feeling. Thank you
Natalie CatherinePosted at 12:00h, 21 June
You’re so welcome Lorena. Thank you for taking the time to comment and share what this brought up for you.
It sounds like you’re doing great work! x