Does it ever feel like the past is getting in the way of your love life?

Deco says this week could bring an opportunity to get more in touch with your authentic self, clearing the way for new connections with people who love you for who you are. 

She’s here to help you express your inner truth, so you can manifest the love you deserve.

GET A PRIVATE SESSION WITH DECO

P.S. Have you been craving a love that’s more true to your authentic self? Have you been sensing a transformation in your relationships? Leave a comment and let Deco know!

TRANSCRIPT:

Hello, my friends at Cosmic Updates, it is Deco Back again, and this week we are going to focus on love, once again. It’s one of the last days of February and we’re sneaking up on the month of March. But, you guys know, we’ve been very focused on love and relationships and connections and healing from past hurts and relationships and all of those things for the month of February. And so, lots of my clients have been like, “How do I attract my partner? How do I heal from past relationships? How do I put myself out there?” And, what I want to focus on today instead of so much, finding the right partner, I want to focus on what you need to do to find happiness in a relationship. Because a lot of times in our life, our goal is just a relationship, “I want a boyfriend,” “I want a girlfriend.” “I want a person in my life who cares about me and loves me.” And that’s all well and good, but a lot of people find that only to find themselves very unhappy in those relationships. So, what I want to focus on is how can you be happy in a relationship? How can you be happy in love? So let’s find out what you need to know.

So, some really important things here. First of all, we’ve got Justice in reverse, which can feel like things have not been working out, and maybe that’s a headspace that you’ve been in for a while, is feeling like you’re not getting what you deserve. You’re not receiving the things that you’re so badly wanting. But, the things, or the thing about Justice, the thing about karma, the thing about all of those things, is it’s really important to pay attention to what you put out because what you put out is what you attract. And, I talk all the time about how I believe there are two places that we lie all the time. One is job interviews and the second is first dates and hear me out. Oh, keep in mind that people are often talking about their interests and they’re talking about the things they like to do and the places they’ve been and all of these things. And, a lot of times people will say, “Hey, I like this.” And, even if you don’t like it, you say, “Oh, me too. I’ve seen this band.” And, you try to relate. But, instead of being authentic and saying, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen a band kind of like them. I’ve never seen them before though, so I don’t know if that’s someone that I really like. I’d have to check ’em out. Maybe you can send me a video later.” Or whatever, it’s like, I think it’s really important on those first dates to make a true first impression instead of trying to become a chameleon. Because, the worst place that we can be a chameleon, again, in my opinion, is in a romantic relationship. I’ve seen people in long-term marriages where they realize that the person that they fell in love with and that they married was not the person that they thought they were because they were acting in a certain way to try to draw them in. And, maybe it wasn’t intentional, maybe it was intentional, but regardless, it doesn’t show a true happy connection. It shows a really false narrative that might feel good for a little while until they can’t hold up the ruse anymore, right? And, I think that’s true for a lot of people, whether they mean to or not. We often put up this front and act one way when really we feel some other way. 

And so, I think what we need to focus on is a couple of things. First of all, we need to have this childlike enthusiasm and excitement for new opportunities. If we go in and we’re thinking, “Oh, nothing’s going to work out. This is going to be just like my past relationships, I’m just going to have this happen again,” then that’s true, right? Because, what you’re putting out into the world is what you’re receiving, and it’s not going to feel like you’re receiving what you deserve. But, if all you’re talking about is the negativity of relationships and the past hurts that you’ve had, then of course you’re going to have a hard time walking into that space and feeling upbeat and happy because you’re expecting the worst, and that’s the worst thing you can do for yourself if you’re trying to find love and connection and a partner right.

Now, the other side of this that I think is so, so important is the Three of Cups. And, the Three of Cups to me means this should be someone that should be just as much a friend as they are a partner and a lover, right? The Three of Cups, to me, I remember talking to a very close friend of mine, we call ourselves bosom buddies because we’re just so close. We’re very authentic, very real, very blunt to each other because we love each other. And, we were talking about how we didn’t understand how romantic relationships could feel like friends. We didn’t understand when people were like, “Oh, my husband is my best friend,” I just didn’t get it. And, she didn’t either until I started approaching my relationships differently, right? Until I started saying, “You know what? I should be able to have the goofiest, weirdest conversation with this person. Because that’s what I want. Why would I want to spend my entire life with someone that I can’t be my most real, authentic, weird, funny, silly, crazy self with,” right? I think that it’s so important that you are as comfortable around your romantic partner as you are with your best, best, best friends. And, if that’s not there, then in my opinion, that’s a giant red flag. I think that you need to take a step back and decide like, “Is this a surface level relationship where I don’t really talk about the things most important to me or joke around about the things that I enjoy joking around with or joking around about?” And, I think that’s what we need to consider is like, maybe we’re not coming into the relationship with the expectations that we really, really want. We have these lower level basic ideas of what our relationship should be when really it’s all about how you act in that relationship, in that space. And, I think acting with enthusiasm and positivity, friendship is a really good way to get started in a relationship. 

Now, let me pull an Oracle card. I feel like that was pretty straightforward, so I’m not going to pull a lot of extras. But let’s see, what else do we need to know about moving into a relationship and making sure that we’re happy? Because that’s, again, the most important thing, happiness, right? We want those positive emotions. I love this card. So, this is called Whale And Orca Elders, and it says, Share Your Song Frequency Of Sound, Diving Deep. And, the idea behind this card is that whales can communicate over hundreds of miles to the point that if you’re too close to a whale, it will literally break your eardrums. They can communicate with each other over miles and miles and miles of distance and be able to have a full conversation. And, part of that is they’re putting out vibrations. They’re literally affecting the ocean around them by the noises they’re making and the frequencies that they’re putting out. And so, the idea with this is to put out your frequency and see what you attract. 

Again, being your most authentic self, being really true to yourself so that you can attract the right person for you. And, I think if you keep those things in mind and those things that bring you joy, if you find someone that you think has promise or is a good prospect for a relationship with you, then I think you already know the most important things, “Can I be real with them? Can I be authentic and weird with them without feeling like they’re putting me down or think that I’m childish or whatever? Do they just love me anyway? Do they want to be around me simply because they like my vibe?” And, if they don’t, then maybe that’s not your person. Maybe that’s not the person that you’re going to be happiest with, and instead of trying to seek out a romantic relationship, you can maybe be friends. And, if that doesn’t work out, then maybe they didn’t belong in your life anyway and it was worth a shot. 

But, what I think the most important thing from this reading that I’m taking away is that you just need to be yourself. You need to have a positive attitude about love. Yes, all of us have been hurt. All of us have gone through things in relationships that felt horrific, terrible, painful, full of scarring, but that doesn’t define you forever. I have scars all over myself, and they don’t define me. They’re just a little part of me, and they’re a consequence of the things that have happened to me, but they’re not things that are an innate part of me. Me falling down on my rollerblades when I was in fourth grade isn’t going to affect me for the rest of my life. I can move on, I can move forward, and I can go rollerblading again. Just like in relationships, you can move on, you can move forward, and you can find love again. 

Okay, now, I wish you a lot of luck. I say be yourself. Have fun. Make sure that you are putting out into the world what you want to attract, okay? Best of luck.