So now you have a bit more of an understanding as to why heartbreak can linger for so long, and perhaps why you’ve continued to attract the wrong people.
You don’t have to understand all of it, but you can always go back and read through the first step as many times as you like. The more you let it sink in, the deeper you will begin to understand, and the process of releasing will happen with more and more ease.
In this next session you will come to understand your body’s role in holding onto old pain, and why it is so essential that you not only change your mind, but that you change your body as well.
The reason you may find yourself attracting the same kind of people into your life over and over again, is that life wants you to resolve the emotional injuries you’re carrying.
In other words, the places in you that still hurt are the places that have not been integrated. These are the areas you have avoided because they are too painful to feel and resolve.
This is the reason there is “ice covering over the stream” in the metaphor from the previous section.
But the only way to move forward and grow is to bring your awareness to these painful feelings. This is why life keeps bringing you similar situations.
When the same type of scenario happens again it draws the old heartbreak to the surface so you can see it again, and hopefully work with it in new ways.
Life wants you to melt the stream, and feel the rich, beautiful world around you. But painful experiences that keep arising can be challenging, and may even create more numbness or avoidance.
Luckily, there is another way.
Instead of circumstances continuing to draw in experiences that reopens an old wound, you can intentionally begin to face the challenges from your past, heal your heart, and move on.
And it doesn’t have to be too painful. In fact, the only reason you keep feeling hurt is because you’ve had resistance to experiencing the pain.
The more you pull away from your painful past, the more you create a gap between your loving presence and your heartache.
This gap will only create more and more stories about what is wrong with you, or how life is unfair, until you truly believe there is nothing you can do about your situation.
On the other hand, If you turn towards your pain, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your old karma can melt like butter.
However, you’ll need to learn some new patterns that can help you process the old, and step forward into the new.
Instead of adapting to heartbreak and avoiding the pain, you can teach yourself to transform the old, and stand in your true beauty and power.
“I love you, I’m here for you, I will support you no matter what.”
The habits we create in order to avoid feeling painful emotions and experiences become the ways in which we breath, stand, and move through life.
Just a simple glance at someone’s posture can give you an entire story about what they have experienced in life.
This doesn’t mean you need to have a perfect posture, or a totally healthy body, but there are certain areas of the body that can hold onto old grief, keeping you trapped in the past at a physical level.
As the saying goes, the issue is in the tissue.
Notice what you do when you feel uncomfortable, frightened, anxious, or threatened. You might collapse your chest, or cross your arms. Your breath might start to quicken, or maybe you hold your breath.
These practiced patterns of breathing, tensing, and closing down start to inform how you feel, experience, and view the world.
When you breathe fully and open your torso and chest, you feel more. But when you collapse, tighten, or hold your breath, you crunch down to avoid the uncomfortable feelings.
This is totally natural, but it can keep you feeling stuck, and there are simple ways to teach your body to open up again.
For a moment, close your eyes and think of something that really stresses you out. Perhaps a boss, or a stressful situation in your current life. Notice how you are breathing, and what happens in your body when you think about this scenario.
Now, think about something enjoyable and relaxing you’ve experienced recently. Maybe think about your favorite pet, or how it feels to lay in the sunshine on your day off. Once again, notice how your body feels, and how you are breathing. Take a moment to write about this.
In order to not feel heartbreak, you may have created patterns in your body to avoid the discomfort. They may be subtle or even unnoticeable, but they are there.
The point being, if you are choosing to transform your heartbreak, you will need to open the blockages that you’ve trained into your body.
Beginning to open these old patterns can have a multitude of health benefits. The organs, blood flow, cerebral spinal fluid, and your entire nervous system is affected by areas that are holding chronic stress or resistance to heartbreak.
The more you open, the healthier you will feel.
And, the more you unlock these old patterns and emotions, the more room there will be for love.
In the next section you will begin the practices that can transform your body, and release old grief and heartbreak.
Take a moment to list some of the things you do with your body when you are feeling stressed or frightened. Examples might be biting your nails, holding your breath, crossing your arms or legs, or eating and drinking things that don’t make you feel good.
It’s not that these things need to change all at once, or even at all, but your awareness of them will begin a process of transformation.
In what ways are you protecting your heart at this time in your life? Are you willing to consider the possibility of being able to transform?
Even if you know in your head that everything will be ok if you let yourself love again, your body and your energy might have a totally different story.
The story in your body could be, “if I open to love again, I will only get hurt.”
This is happening at a cellular level, which means even though your mind understands you are safe, your body doesn’t.
This story could be your own, but it could also come from generation upon generation in your family, where maybe expressing love wasn’t safe.
The practices you are about to learn are designed to teach your body that it is safe to love, so you can begin to write a new story; one that includes deep romance and contentment.